Dieline's Friday Wrap-Up: Weed Bodegas, Purple M&M's, and Heinz Boba Ketchup

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Oct 1

Guys. We did it.

Not only did we find a pumpkin spice latte engagement ring with a dollop of diamond whipped cream on the top, but we officially have pumpkin spice trash bags.

Essentially, this is the cinnamon broomstick you'll find in many a New England home that bludgeons you with the overpowering smells of the season, except now it's in trashbag form. From now on, the hearty aroma of clove and faux pumpkin will waft from your trash receptacle, and you can rest easy knowing that Hefty will make your rotten leftovers and unused plastic bags of spinach smell just a skosh better.

Are you not delighted? Want to read more? Well, our pal Rudy covered it here.

Anywho, here are your links.

The Kids Are All Right

Last, year, we wrote about how it's OK for weed brands to celebrate stoner stereotypes and tropes and all of the juvenalia and baggage that comes with it. After interviewing many a cannabis CEO that wants to look more Polo than Poprocks, the quest for legitimacy has left some cannabis firms looking blanded and tired.

Kudos to Jason Diamondfor his piece in Curbed about "tacky weed bodegas" popping up like a roided-out Starbucks in NYC circa 1997, as I 100% support murals of Rugrats or Doug characters doing bong rips:

"The weed bodega is becoming a recognizable type. Look first for innuendo in the name: Vibez, Cloudz, Exotic, Fog, Puff. A kaleidoscope of imported snacks is a big giveaway—Korean potato chips, rare Fanta flavors, Spanish Cheetos in the shape of soccer balls—as is a giant inflatable blunt, provided by the rolling-papers brand Raw, sitting in many windows like a homing beacon. The décor is street-art juvenilia with a stoner twist and an adolescent raunchiness. At an "exotic snacks" store on the part of Fulton Street where Clinton Hill becomes Bed-Stuy, the guy behind the counter eagerly asked me to smell a nug of something labeled "Stripperella."

Ketchup, But Make It Chonky

Bubble tea might be having itself a nice little moment, and from all signs, you can find cans of the stuff at some of your favorite retailers now, which, according to our own Chloe Gordon, feels a little bit like cheating since part of the magic is seeing those snotty little balls of wonder.

Now, Heinz is getting in the game with the boba brand Gong Cha, and yes, the packaging looks exactly like their ketchup bottles. The limited-edition flavors include Berry Mary and Pomato Bomb, and I would totally throw this in a Bloody Mary and be perfectly content.

Start Wearing Purple

There's a new purple M&M, and she only listens to Rent and Dear Evan Hansen. There's no purple flavor making its way to the candy display, just a new color meant to represent "acceptance and inclusivity." Because, yes, theater nerds need love too.

You Really Don't Need This

"SUCH AND SUCH is the world's first Web3 lifestyle beverage company" is a phrase I have read far too many times in the past two years. This one just so happens to have Bored Apes on it.

Now, we have Bored Ape Water, and it's being sold by someone advertised as a "visionary" and "the new Scooter Braun." Or at least, that's the person who owns this particular Ape that appears on the packaging. The canned water brand comes on the heels of other BAYC IP-owners schilling Bored Ape burger chains, Bored Ape Old Navy t-shirts, and Bored Ape weed. I am assuming other moneyed Ape-owners prone to hyperbole will also feature heavily on the cans in future drops. In a press release touting their first limited-edition water drop at Fred Segal—with a line around the building—one of the co-founders remarked that "plastic is canceled." That comes from a Web3 proponent who has likely heard that NFTs are bad for the environment and use a lot of energy.

I genuinely don't care about the apes, and I think they are a visual eyesore, and I know that I should probably just shut up about it already. And, yes, I realize I just advocated for Chuckie and Tommy smoking weed off a crushed soda can with a few pinholes in it, but life is chockful of contradictions, and I can't help you there.

Nuthin' But a G Thang

Shout out to Center for the "G" butt in Gente, definitely one of my favorite pieces of type I've seen this year.

I've been working up a theory on how the world needs more horny brands. Not in the form of cringe INCEL tweets on Twitter from the likes of Wendy's or Radioshack. Instead, it needs to be a more frank, direct, and inclusive brand of sexuality that isn't so backwards, particularly as the rightwing of the country continues to push its evangelical will upon plenty of folks that want nothing to do with it.

Point being, Gente really nails this.

One Frida Isn't Cool. You Know What's Cool? 10,000 Frida NFTs.

Speaking of further adventures in NFT hijinx, entrepreneur Martin Mobarak set fire to a Frida Kahlo drawing worth around $10 million in front of a cheering audience, according to Vice. Mobarak then turned the drawing into 10,000 NFTs, which, somehow, sounds even worse when I type it out.

"People may see it as I destroyed it. But I didn't," Mobarak explained to Vice. "This way, I am bringing it to the world. I am letting everybody see it. I think it does more good for the world and makes a statement rather than just sitting in someone's private collection."

Here's hoping the drawing was just a forgery.

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