Chapter Nineteen - Part One
The Spurned Soldier
Elwyn the Returner
On my ride back to the capital, I seethed. In my head, I told Lessa exactly what I thought of her and her dubious behaviour. They were words I'd never have been able to say out loud.
It was obvious that Lessa hadn't wanted me around anymore. She could have just told me to go away. Did she have to invent fake reasons for me to go back to the capital? I wasn't some delicate flower. I could handle the truth, whatever it was.
Or maybe she couldn't tell me. Something had been weighing on Lessa and it had been driving me mad to try and work out what it was. My resentment about being forced to come along in the first place hadn't helped matters. It was a bit of relief that Lessa and I had parted ways.
But acknowledging that didn't make me feel any calmer. At least it was safe for me to vent when I was on my own.
Once my anger had subsided a little, thoughts of Lessa made me sad. She'd been forced to take on so much all at once. And then she'd isolated herself from everyone else, even those who used to be her friends.
It was right for a monarch to have a certain level of separation from their subjects of course. But that didn't make the situation at that moment any easier. Lessa had never been prepared for the responsibilities that had been dumped on her. Queenship would've been the last thing that Princess Seraphina wanted for her daughter.
During my training, it had been drummed into me that the royals I would be protecting were something very much other. They were removed from ordinary human beings. It was simpler to think of them as slightly alien, as objects to be held in awe rather than people you could develop emotional connections with. It had made being around Lessa all the more confusing.
Part one of Privileged can be found here.
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