Seventeen
By: Jinu Kim
My first day as a Bergen Tech student was spent in my own room, in my own house, isolated from everybody except my mom and dad. It wasn't just my first day, either– it was most of the year. By September of 2020, the COVID-19 pandemic was in full swing. There was nothing we could do but sit at home and wait for the storm to pass. We were allowed into the school in November, but it was only about two weeks before a string of COVID cases sent us back into quarantine again. Things were different back then: we ran on a half-day schedule every day, we had to wait outside in lines every morning before we were allowed in, and there was a Google Form that our parents had to fill out every morning to show that we had no COVID symptoms. If that form wasn't filled out, you weren't getting in. As you can see, my freshman year was so abnormal that I don't really know what a normal freshman year looks like. By the time I stepped into the building as a student for the first time, I already knew my classes, my teachers, and my friends. But if you're a freshman right now, you stepped in here knowing none of these things, and that can't have been easy. But trust me when I say, you're going to be fine. You probably don't have anything figured out yet, but that's okay. I still don't have everything figured out, and neither does anyone else. If they say they do, they're lying. So have fun, try some new things, and make the most of the time you have because it's going to go by fast. I know it might not feel that way right now, but you're going to be in my shoes before you know it. Do whatever you need to do to make sure that, once you get here, you don't feel like you've wasted your time. For me, that's challenging myself in ways that make me grow, not just as a student but also as a person. I don't know what that thing is for you, because it's different for everyone, but find yours and do it. And that's for everyone, not just freshmen but sophomores and juniors too.
In the time that it does take you to get here, you will fail. Don't be afraid of it. It might sound like a cliché, but there's no growth without failure, and that's a fact. I wouldn't be who I am if I hadn't failed in the ways I did, so when you fail, be smart about it. Don't let it overwhelm you. Figure out what went wrong, and avoid doing the same things later. If you get a bad grade, bounce back and maintain perspective. The system makes your grades the most important way of judging you, so I won't say grades don't matter, because they do. But they don't define you, and your worth isn't dependent on them. They don't matter more than you, and they're not what make you matter. But since they do matter in some ways, you might as well make sure that they matter in a way that's good for you. That means making sure that you actually learn whatever you get tested on, because if you don't, it'll come back to bite you later. That means taking more of the harder classes every year while maintaining or improving your grades from year to year. It means supplementing those grades with extracurricular activities that leave a measurable impact, whether that means reaching X amount of new people, raising Y amount of money, or being involved for Z number of hours. It's a balancing act, one of the hardest ones I know of. I know it sounds impossible, but it's been done before, and it'll be done again. But if you can't do it without compromising your values, don't do it. Nothing is worth that price.
Once you get here, it'll be time to apply for college. Let your experience guide you as you do. You're probably going to feel like you have no experience in anything, but if you look deep enough, you'll find it. But please, don't go through this alone. College admissions is a very isolating process. Nobody likes talking about it, so nobody does. You will feel alone, but you don't have to be. Talk to someone about it. They could be a friend, a parent, a teacher, a mentor, a religious leader- it doesn't matter who they are as long as you can trust them. There will be a lot of uncertainty, anxiety, and stress. But always remember that, no matter where you end up, you'll find ways of succeeding if you look hard enough. Your fear won't let you believe that. So look your fear in the eyes and make it run. Are you greater than your fear? Are you greater than whatever is gripping your mind and filling it with darkness? Then face the future with your head held high and make these four years the best that you possibly can, because if you don't, nobody else will. You got this, and if nobody believes in you, I do. Good luck, and go get 'em.
Works Cited:
https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/first-day-school-freshman-vs-153523076.html
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